Voldemort And Lucius's Secret Meeting
by Spontaneiously Combusting Kira
Summary: Voldemort and Lucius are having a secret meeting, and The Order, Draco and Cissy are listening.


The Order has found the wherebouts of a super-secret meeting that Lucius and Voldemort are having. Turns out, Voldemort isn't very creative, and they're just meeting in Lucius's bedroom. They've confuded Narcissa, but she won't stop following them! Anyways, The Order, Cissy, and Draco (Draco threatened to tell Lucius what they were doing if they didn't let him listen in.) are listening outside Lucius's bedroom door.

Voldemort: Oh my gosh! Lucikins! You have the Glittery Glitter Pony! Ohemgee!

Lucius: I still like your Life size Mommy Pony better! Can I borrow it for the weekend?

Voldemort: Only if you let me borrow you Glittery Glitter Pony.

Lucius: I don't know..

Voldemort: Pweeeese? With Whipped Cream and Mommy Pony on top?

Lucius: Fine, but you have to also lend me your Easy Bake Oven.

Voldemort: Fine! It's worth it.

Sirius: What the? Glittery Glitter Pony?

Cissy: I LIKE CHERRY COBBLER! MMMM! COBBLER!!!!

Sirius: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Lucius: What was that?

Voldemort: I think the timer on the Easy Bake Oven went off. I just love Easy Bake Cherry Cobbler!

Cissy: MMMMM! COBBLER!

Remus: Can't we shut her up?

Draco: Mother is scary sometimes.

Cissy: Is that Voldie? I hear Vooooldie! VOLDIE-DEAR!

Remus: Cissy, PLEASE SHUT UP!

Sirius: Remus, Shut up! You're just as loud as she is!

Draco: Everyone's gone mad, haven't they.

Mr. Weasley: Perhaps, Draco. Perhaps.

Voldemort: Mmm..this Cherry cobbler hits the spot. Maybe we should make some Easy Bake Cheese Fondue!

Cissy: MOLDY VOLDIE LIKES CHEEEEEESE!

Mrs. Weasly: Cissy would you shut up - Draco! Your part is messed up!

Draco: Ahhh! Don't touch me you filthy blood traitor!

Mrs. Weasly: Well, since none of my children are here, I have to fuss about SOMEONE.

All Weasly Children: What do you mean?!? We're right here!

Mrs. Weasly: RON! YOUR PART IS MESSED UP!

Ron: Mother! Shut up!

Sirius: Everybody JUST SHUT UP!

Harry: What's the point in life.

Cissy: Harry! Do YOU like cheese?

Harry: What's the point in life.

Tonks: The point in life is to change your hair colour so many times that nobody knows who you are half the time.

Harry: What's the point.

Tonks: I never thought of it that way..

Remus: Harry! Stop making Tonks go emo!

Harry: What's the point in life?

Tonks: Yeah, what's the point in life.

Remus: Too late.

Voldemort: This Cheese fondue is quite delicious. -gasps- OHEMGEEE!! YOU'VE GOT MY LITTLE PONY DADDY!

Lucius: I'll trade you My Little Pony Daddy for My Little Pony Glitter Pony Twinkler.

Voldemort: Yeah! This is fun! I'm glad no one knows about this.

Harry: What's the point in My Little Pony.

Remus: I can't answer that question, and I don't think even Dumbledore can.

Draco: My..Father..Has...My...Little..Ponies...

Sirius: So our most dangerous enemy is in love with My Little Pony. This says how competent we are. No wonder morale is low.

Harry: What's the point in life?

Sirius: Harry! Stop saying that!

Voldemort: I feel negative energy beyond your bedroom door..I'm scared Lucikins.

Lucius: Me too.

Sirius: This is pathetic.

Cissy: MY LITTLE PONY! SKINNY AND BONY! YOU'LL NEVER BE IN MY HEART!

Sirius: You'll never be in MY heart either.

Voldemort: I think someone's being negative about My Little Pony out there.

Lucius: Me too. I can just SENSE the negative energy.

Voldemort: Did you know the reason that I killed The Potters was because they were being negative about My Little Pony?

Lucius: -gasps- They'd never!

Voldemort: But they DID.

Sirius: -confuzzled look- Even I didn't know that.

Harry: -gasps- Oh my god! I just found out why I'm so negative all the time!

The Order and Draco: Why?

Cissy: CHEESE!

Harry: I was never able to play with My Little Ponies! OHEMGEE! I'm gonna play with Voldie! -skips through closed door and makes large whole in the process-

Sirius: What has this world come to?

Harry: Voldie! Can I play with your awesome My Little Baby Pony Plushie?

Voldemort: Do you promise to never be negative about My Little Pony ever again?

Harry: Yeeeees.

Voldemort: Okay!

Lucius: Yay! New Pony Buddy!

The Order and Draco: -stares- What has this world come to.

Cissy: Tra la la la la!

Harry: OHEMGEE! You guys have an Easy Bake Oven! Let's make Cherry Cobbler!

Lucius and Voldemort: Yay! Cobbler!

Cissy: Yay! Cobbler!

Tonks: What's the point of Cherry Cobbler?

Lucius, Voldemort & Harry: I SENSE NEGATIVE ENERGY! GET HER, ANTI-NEGATIVENESS PONY!

Anti-Negativeness Pony: -neighs and attacks Tonks-

Tonks: The pain makes me feel alive.

Remus: To think I was going to propose to her.

The Order, Lucius, Voldemort, Harry & Draco: -gasps-

Tonks: I feel so loved.

Cissy: I feel so CHEESE.

Lucius: Could someone PLEASE tell me why my wife has suddenly gone all weird? I thought I was the weird one.

Voldemort & Harry: You aren't weird! You're just different! But WE understand.

Lucius: -sniffles- You guys make me feel so loved.

Tonks: That's one thing we have in common - we both feel love-ed.

Lucius: SPREAD THE LOVE! GROUP HUG!

Voldemort, Lucius & Harry: -huggles-

Sirius: This is SIRIUS-LY WEIRD. -chuckles-

Remus: That was one of the worst Sirius jokes ever.

Sirius: Why thank you. That was SIRIUS-LY taken as a complement! -rolls on floor laughing-

Remus: -sighs- I think Askaban SIRIUS-LY went to your head.

Cissy: It SIRIUS-LY did! -cracks up-

Sirius: -cracks up- That was SIRIUS-LY a good one!

Harry: I wuv you Voldie! (And not Sirius and Cissy's bad Sirius jokes.)

Ginny: NOOOO! -starts stabbing Voldemort- DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIEEEEEE!

Harry & Lucius: Noo! Help us anti-negativeness Pony!

Anti-Negativeness Pony: I'm on strike.

Harry & Lucius: Nooo!

Voldemort: -dying- Harry..Lucius...Come close.

Harry & Lucius: Yes?

Voldemort: Take...Care..Of...My Toys...-dies-

Harry & Lucius: -sniffles-

Lucius: Hold me, Harry.

Harry: Yes Lucius. -hugs Lucius-

Ginny: I was only stabbing him with Licorice...-holds up Twizzler-

Mr. & Mrs. Weasly: Twizzler Knives? Our children are quite out of the ordinary.

Fred & George: Of course we are!

Hermione: This is quite a predicament. I say we should consult a book.

Fred: You'd say that if we needed to know how to find a Blibbering Humdinger.

Luna: You'd have to consult my father's book.

Fred: Where did you come from?

Luna: Apparated here for no apparent reason.

George: Ho-kay..

Voldemort: -wakes up- I was only sleeping, and didn't want Twizzler Fingers over there to touch my NICE, CLEAN, TOYS.

Harry & Lucius: Voldikins! You're still alive!

Ginny: Twizzler Fingers?

Ron: I'm gonna call you that from now on, you know that Twizzler Fingers?

Ginny: -starts stabbing Ron with Twizzlers-

Ron: Twizzler Fingers, It's not gonna work on me, I'm not as wimpy as Voldemort is.

Luna: LOOK! MISTLETOE! -sticks mistletoe stickers everywhere- They're often infested with Nargles. -smug look-

Voldemort: Lucius, I must confess, I LOVE YOU!

Lucius!!! I LOVE YOU TOO VOLDIKINS! -starts snogging Voldemort-

Sirius: -looks at Cissy- I have a confession to make to you too, Cissy. I love you.

Cissy: Me too!

Sirius: -looks around and points out the window- LOOK! A CONVENIENTLY MISPLACED DISTRACTION!

Everyone except Sirius & Cissy: -looks out window-

Sirius: -snogs Cissy-

Cissy: YAY! Interbreeding is SO the new thing.

Sirius: -stops snogging- How do you talk and snog at the same time?

Cissy: I dunno!

Remus: Oh my..And the interbreeding begins..

Suddenly, Bellatrix apparates into the room and lo and behold, she finds Lucius snogging Voldemort.

Bellatrix: Voldikins! But I thought I was going to marry you and only I!

Voldemort: I am sorry, but my heart lies with Lucius. And My Little Pony Life Size Lucius Pony. I got it specially made.

Lucius: You made it for me? I feel so loved!

Tonks: What's the point in feeling loved.

Remus: I'll never reveal that I'm gonna marry you ever again if you keep talking like that!

Tonks: But this is the way I am now! -starts cutting self- OH THE PAIN! It makes me feel aliveeee!

Remus: Woah..Ewww!! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ewwwwwww!

Bellatrix: -goes into fetal posistion-

Tonks: Fetal posistion is MY thing!-goes into fetal posistion-

Bellatrix: We can be fetal together.

Tonks: Okay.

Just then, in a puff of smoke, something appears! It is so shiiiny! Oooh.Wait. Wait. It's...My Little Angel God Pony?

My Little Angel God Pony: The Apocalypse has begun. Unfortunately, none of you are worthy in our My Little Pony Heaven.

Voldemort: None?

My Little Angel God Pony: None except..Hmmm..-consults list- Vol-di-mort, Hairy, and Lu-cy-us. Okay. Them. Come forth.

Voldemort, Harry & Lucius: Yay!

My Little Angel God Pony: The world shall now burn! -breathes weird glowing fire that burns everyone to a crisp except for Voldemort, Lucius and Harry- Climb onto my back and we shall fly, fly off to Heaven!

Voldemort, Lucius & Harry: Yay! -climbs onto My Little Angel God Pony's Back-

Then, My Little Angel God Pony flew off into the distance, but unfortunately, while flying low in Canada, they all got skewered by the CN tower. I guess this goes to show, even My Little Angel God Ponies make mistakes.


End file.
